Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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