Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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