i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
