i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
