Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
