yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
