His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
thus making me awesome and them whores
its not stalking. its research.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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