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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Guess she heard her killer coming

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• (718): View more from New York

  you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken

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• (352): View more from Florida

  He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.

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• (607): View more from New York

  I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!

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• (925): View more from California

  i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.

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• (858): View more from California

  - I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.

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