like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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