Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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