Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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