I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
