We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
