I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
