SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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