Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
