Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
