im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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