just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
