BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
