i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
