I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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