either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
