So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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