you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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