Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
