Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
A+ Viking dick
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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