And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
