operation harelip BJ is a go
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
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You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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