do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
