she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
