If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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