that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
