I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
