Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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