boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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