what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
