Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
