imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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