Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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