Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
