and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
