2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
