I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
