a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
