'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
