she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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