just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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