Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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