and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
