I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
