You really coming over, don't trick.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize