i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
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Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
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At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.