you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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