wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
