thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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