Fuck appropriateness.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
